Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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