i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
