Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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