We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
