why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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