And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
