How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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