capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
