i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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