At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
