weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
whose parrot is this?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
