I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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