So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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