You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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