I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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