my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize