What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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