Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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