We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
