just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The air taste purple.
Randomize
