can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
