I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
