It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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