I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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