i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
