Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
