ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
