Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In America we eat man semen.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
