i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
