So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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