what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
