i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
