is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry about my life...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
