Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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