my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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