I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
