1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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