He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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