i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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