Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize