My friends, they love my intelligence
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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