you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize