Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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