I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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