I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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