doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
