You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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