THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
