just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize