Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
