i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
50% drunk capacity currently
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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