If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I need moral support for this bender
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
