2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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