Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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