mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
