is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.