yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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