He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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