i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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