bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
