Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
