so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
