Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
